Worth the money: Boob Nursing Wear

I feel like I should sub-title this post Boob Nursing Wear – gentle on your boobs…

After receiving my order from Boob nursing wear, I felt compelled to write them an open love letter, and that is basically what this is. Pregnancy, while a magical, happy, beautiful miracle can be two things: 1. uncomfortable and 2. expensive. I don’t know about you, but my former, un-pregnant self scoffed at spending money on basics – t-shirts, camis, simple dresses, things you can throw on. I frequented cheaper retailers (the kind that are known for making clothing that shrinks to a tenth of it’s original size in the wash) for these items (Forever 21, H&M, you get the idea). However, when you need the basics to be nursing friendly and you feel as if your body has achieved that true baby whale status that only a pregnant body can (on a scale of larger ocean mammals that starts with baby dolphin and ends with whale) – well, that’s a game changer.

One new thing I’ve acquired in pregnancy is super-deluxe sized, giant knockers. I didn’t know they could get this big and honestly it scares the hell out of me. I find most wrap tops super uncomfortable and quite frankly, ugly. It doesn’t mean I don’t have them in my closet. In the limited world that is nursing wear, you end up with a wrap top or two (or five). My overwhelming love for bad design, too much fabric and side-ruching aside, I would wear these shirts to work or out on the town and just feel… crappy and ugly. I made it my mission to find nursing wear that worked for me… and that’s how I found Boob.

The first item I found was the Boob b-warmer which is a nursing hoodie. I discovered the hoodie on A Cup of Jo (another blog that is definitely better than this one) and found positive reviews from Joanna about Boob wear in general. (The b-warmer I haven’t ordered yet, but I intend to.) I ordered a nursing dress and two shirts (pictures below) and fell absolutely in love. The shirts are as comfortable as anything I’ve owned pre-pregnancy and THERE IS NO RUCHING. God, I hate ruching. Someone should give an award for maternity designers that find ways to create clothing for pregnant women without side ruching. I put on my Boob cami and felt (for the first time in a LOOOONG time) comfortable. Not like I was wearing something ridiculous.

Three words:

Three words:




FINALLY (well four words)…

Here is the kicker: Boob is quality material and design and it doesn’t come cheap. A dress will run you roughly $105 USD, the tanks will run you $55 USD and the t-shirts about $59 USD sans taxes and shipping. The super popular b-warmer hoodie runs $98 USD. I ordered directly from their website, which means my Boob wear came straight from the EU. In my pregnant wisdom, I conveniently ignored the section I was required to check at the time of purchase agreeing to pay taxes and duty COD (cash on delivery) for my order, so imagine my surprise when an angry UPS guy demanded an additional, personal, check for $40 upon delivery of my goods.

I contacted Boob regarding this (to verify it was a real thing) and they got back to me pretty much immediately and provided basically amazing customer service. Not only did they provide me a list of retailers that carry Boob in the US so I can avoid doing this to myself in the future, they refunded my shipping fees as a one-time courtesy. (I’m including the list of retailers in CA below.) Nordstrom also carries some Boob stuff as does Natural Mom Gear. (NMG has a pretty extensive collection of the goods, I’m just now noticing.) So, while the price tag may be steep, comfort in pregnancy is priceless. Especially at the baby whale stage. Boob, your product is awesome. Californians, here is the list of retailers.

Bellies, Babies & Bosoms
2430 Honolulu Avenue, Montrose
Tel +1 8185411200
Mom’s the Word
T&C Village 855 El Camino Real 98, Palo Alto

Mom’s the Word
3385 Sacramento Street, San Fransisco
Tel +1 4154418261

Natural Mom Gear
1673 Roll Street, Santa Clara
Tel +1 4082492414

Pum Bum Maternity
1102 E. Champlain Dr. Ste 108, Fresno

The Pump Station
2415 Wilshire Blvd, Santa Monica
Tel +1 3109981981

Xpecting Maternity
369 E. 17th Street Suite 20, Costa Mesa
Tel +19495742184

Viewing from the third trimester: HIMYM finale

Tracy, we hardly knew ye...

Tracy, we hardly knew ye…

SPOILER ALERT – basically all major plot points revealed from HIMYM finale. Watch before you read. You’ve been warned.

I wanted to title this post HIMYM…for her to die so I could bang your “Aunt” Robin. Self five?

I am in the camp of people who didn’t approve of the HIMYM finale. I’ve been a fan of the show for a long time (and the finale doesn’t change my love for it). It’s gotten me through many sick days, not to mention long flights between the east coast and San Diego. In fact, I don’t know what I’m going to watch now that it’s off air when I’m on a plane. It’s probably a good thing I’m pregnant for this reason alone. My flights will be devoted to calming a screaming kid, but, I digress.

The first bombshell, Barney and Robin’s divorce, was (I felt) an appropriate plot point that fit in to their storyline as a couple. It made sense. Robin may have loved Barney but her career was always first. Barney couldn’t handle a monogamous relationship in the end, not to mention one where he was a second fiddle to Robin’s career. To this point, we are good. Marshall and Lily, third baby? Makes perfect sense. Moving right along.

The next jaw dropper, Barney getting one of his random conquests preg-o was also storyline appropriate and MY GOD long overdue. How many random one night stands does one have to partake in before that happens? This also leads to the question, how many kids could Barney realistically have out there that he doesn’t know about? It was easy to digest his random conquest getting pregnant, it would have also been easy to digest if one of his old conquests had gotten pregnant, and that kid showed up in the finale, rang Barney’s doorbell and said “Are you my dad?”


Insert “Barney” at the top and “Father” where Mother is crossed out…

The whole Robin separating from the group (for a time) was sad, and as pregnant as I am I shed a few tears watching her in Lily’s empty apartment, Lily in a white whale suit (genius), Robin running out the door. That’s why this is called “viewing” from the third trimester… I haven’t cried this much since I was in my second trimester and that stupid Budweiser puppy commercial was airing day in and out. (Side note, I don’t understand this commercial. Which person owns the dog? Which person owns the Clydesdales? Who is taking the dog in the end? Explanations appreciated.)  Anywho… I’m good on the plot up until this point. Marshall finally gets a judge job, runs for state senate, he and Lily live happily ever after. We’re doing good.

Next thing of note to me – the Ted wedding. Here is where I start to get a little queasy. Would Tracy REALLY have gone out of her way to convince Robin to come? Someone who had fallen out of touch with Ted himself? Why would his wife-to-be go out of her way (on her own wedding day) to convince Ted’s most high profile ex (who he hasn’t seen in forever) to show her pretty face? Why? It turns out the “why” was because there is a grand plan of killing Tracy off several minutes later and they wanted the audience to take comfort in the fact that (even though she dead) she and Robin were cool…

She dead reference here for those who haven’t had the pleasure of indulging in Long Island Medium:

Not cool. Just not cool. I’m sure a lot of people were happy to see Ted and Robin end up together, I’m just not one of them. I almost want to say it’s too clean of an ending but I’m worried someone will throw the whole, “But they killed the mother!” thing in my face. It does, though, feel like too clean of an ending… where too many roadways were paved at the last minute for Ted and Robin to get their happy ending. Watching Robin and Barney get married, I thought to myself, it’s better this way. The protagonist doesn’t always get the girl – the fairytale ending isn’t the only ending. I like that Ted ends up with someone totally new, not to mention someone who was (in my opinion) cast perfectly for the part… I was more than okay with Ted and Robin NOT ending up together because SO MANY TIMES they didn’t get a happy ending, and Tracy McConnell’s presence gave the audience a reason for all of that. Killing her off was one thing, but killing her off so Ted and Robin could end up happily ever after with their five dogs and two grown kids (that didn’t come out of Robin’s hoo-ha) just undermined his whole relationship with”the mother” who we all waited NINE YEARS to meet.

Gwyneth’s Time Bind


This movie star thing sucks. Why can’t I get a nine-to-five gig so I can finally relax?

I’m going to grab a pitchfork, join the villagers and address Gwyneth Paltrow’s comments regarding being a working mother. I have to do it. It really, REALLY resonated with me. If you didn’t hear, a working mother named Mackenzie penned an open letter to Gwyneth after Gwyneth made these comments to E! News: 

“I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

You can read Mackenzie’s open response here. As someone who’s never been a movie star and never set foot on a movie set, I have no way to asses how difficult it is or isn’t as a job. However, as someone who has worked 40+ hours a week for the past ten years, I can say with confidence that G-Pal has some serious delusions about what it’s like to work a full-time office job… which is why this is an open-mouth-insert-foot moment for her… and why it’s a moment for working mothers everywhere to commiserate and gift Gwyneth with a steaming, fresh pile of piece of mind. 

“You can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home?” Ahem, the work comes with you. How about answering email after dinner, taking calls at home well after 5:00pm or (my favorite) on Sunday? Or, what about the idea that an office job is 24/7, 365 (with two weeks paid vacation and a hand full of holidays if you are lucky)? And, while we are on the topic of benefits and compensation, how much do you make per film? Was it 16 million you got paid for Iron Man 3? That’s just one film, right? And… you are working for a portion of the year instead of the whole year, so… yeah, there’s that. Not to mention that your role on set is one of the film’s stars… not key grip or assistant to the assistant director. That being the case, I have to imagine that someone else is getting you coffee, answering your cell phone and tasting your food first to make sure no one’s poisoned it. Not exactly the same case when you are a worker among workers. There are no craft service trucks, no personal assistants (who am I kidding, I basically am one) and no fringe benefits like those afforded to a movie star. 

The issue with what Gwyneth said isn’t that she is telling us her job is more challenging than an office job, as insensitive and wrong as it sounded. It’s that she had the nerve to compare herself to a mother working an office job in the first place. Office jobs are mundane, full of Microsoft Outlook, Excel Spreadsheets and stale birthday cake a few times a year if you are lucky. Starring in a feature film isn’t so mundane, I’m guessing. Tiring as I’m sure it may be, it’s glamourous. You are starring in a film! Seen by millions of people worldwide! There are red carpets, press junkets and award shows with dresses that cost more than the median family income. This isn’t the case in an office. There is usually some ugly blue or grey carpet, a company newsletter that you will never, ever get mentioned in (much less be on the cover of) and instead of award shows, we have performance evaluations where (if you’ve been a good girl) your boss offers you a “cost of living raise” or spends fifteen minutes explaining there is no money in the budget for raises this year… Or, my personal favorite, spends fifteen minutes explaining that he can’t promote you until he, himself is in a better position and if that ever happens, then, maybe you can talk about it (but fat chance). Also, this is likely the only (definitely the longest) conversation you will have with him all year. The rest of your interaction will be limited to him barking at you to do things for him at a moment’s notice. 

I don’t blame Gwyneth for being herself. This is her lot in life… she is beautiful and famous. She’s the daughter of an actress and a film producer. So, while it seems to most of us she is just being a snatch, her comments are very simply her being her father’s daughter. I can say that these comments are not great for her brand and she should probably say she was on Quaaludes to get out of this one… or that someone slipped something in to her chia-seed pudding and green juice that day… her PR team will think of something.

I can say this to end – I wouldn’t trade places with her. I might not love my office job every minute of everyday, BUT i’m grateful to have a job, and I love my husband and yet-to-be-born son (a couple of months to go)! She can keep her millions and I’ll keep my mundane. 

Who asked you?

I feel like I probably (definitely) asked for this. When I was in the pre-bump stages, I desperately wanted the bump. I wanted people to see me and know I wasn’t just letting myself go a little. I thought surely I would be spared the snarky comments, strong opinions and sideways glances of others as soon as I had the definitive bump. I’m sure that plenty of pregos are well adjusted, understanding and generally not bothered by people’s comments, but I’m not one of those. I feel as if I have the emotional intelligence of rhinoceros and am about as easily agitated as one at the moment. Here is a list of things I really wish people would keep to themselves.

1. Comments about how big or small you think I am. This is hilarious to me because I’ve found that people tell you their opinion of your size in relation to their own opinion of how big you should be pregnant… which might (or might not) be based on how big they thought they were during pregnancy. Would you really be commenting on my size if I wasn’t pregnant? No? OK, keep that one to yourself.

Yup. Even her. Shut up about her size already.

Yup. Even her. Shut up about her size already.

2. Comments about names. “Oh, that name? It doesn’t really flow…” I have news for you. Expectant parents don’t want your opinion of their name choices, even if they say they do. They want you to say you like it, that’s a great name, that is so cute… but they don’t want your honest opinion. So keep it to yourself. Naming a human being is hard. Opinions make it harder because, well, opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and they stink. We had a relative that suggested so many names I reflexively started hating every offering she had.

3. Birthing comments, specifically comments about what size fruit (or vegetable) I am pushing out of another size fruit (or vegetable). “I mean, your only pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon!” Shut up about fruit already. I get it. I’m having a baby. I don’t need the size analogies to somehow help me understand how everything works down there…

Please stop comparing my vagina to this situation here.

4. While you are at it not comparing my vagina to a lemon and my baby to a melon of size yet to be determined, I really wish people would shut up about their opinions of how I plan to get the baby out (and anyone else’s birth plan, for that matter). I happen to have a very generic plan and I stand by it… have the baby in a hospital with pain management (AKA epidural). I don’t care to hear your opinion of this, even if it is supportive. I had a girlfriend say “Oh, thank God!” when I told her an epidural was part of my plan. What if I’d said I want no drugs and I want to have the baby in a cornfield instead of a hospital? (Side note – if your birth plan does involve a cornfield, I support your choice, just don’t expect me to write a comment to that effect on facebook).


That’s right buddy. No one cares.

5. I understand that newborn babies require an insane amount of work and I’m going to sacrifice some (possibly all?) of my sleep for a long while. Reminding me of this day in and day out isn’t helpful. What I notice about the people that love harping on this is they take some sick pleasure telling you how tired you are going to be. To these people: what is wrong with you? I don’t understand this at all and I notice it almost always comes from supposedly grown women who have grown children. MAKES NO SENSE. If you can’t say something nice…


6. In the same camp as the “You will be so tired you will want to die” folks are the “You will lose your will to live and you will never do anything fun again” group. “Better enjoy going to the movies now, when the baby comes you are never going to the movies again!” “Hope you enjoyed your last trip, your never traveling again after that kid comes!” This is equally baffling to me. I have plenty of mom friends who go to the movies, have dinner with their husbands and do a lot of the same things they did before kids. (One of my mom friends just took her 4-month old son to Japan… and she’s my hero.) Yes, I understand, our “normal” is going to be different… and I’m okay with it.

Nooooo!! It's gonna be okay...

Nooooo!! It’s gonna be okay…

So what can you say? I’m putting a handy list below for your reference. It even converts what you are actually thinking in to nice, encouraging comments to help your pregnant friend.

1. You are actually thinking: OMG, she’s a whale. What you should say instead: Look at you! You are so beautiful!! (Also give her a hug while you let the guilt sink in that you can think such a horrible thing about your friend. You should also probably buy her lunch.)

2. You are actually thinking:  Chester is a stupid name. What you should say instead: I love Chester. Super cute. I don’t think too many other kids will have it either, which is awesome.

3. You are actually thinking: OMFGShe’s going to push an eggplant out of a cherry tomato. What you should say instead: Nothing. If you feel the urge to tell this to your pregnant friend, you need professional help, not my help.

4. You are thinking: Natural birth?! Is she effing kidding? What you should say instead: That’s so awesome. Good for you… you can totally do it.

5. You are thinking: She’s never going to sleep again. What you should say instead: I know it’s nothing you can’t handle – my friend has a one year old son and he started sleeping through the night months ago.

6. You are thinking: Her life is over. Why would she do this? Because she wanted a kiddo! How do you think you got here? What you should ALWAYS say instead: I’m so excited for you. I’ll be here for you no matter what… and then be there for her, no matter what.

Dear Pea in the Pod, I hate you.

As a 16 week prego, maternity wear is no longer an optional thing. At ten weeks I noticed that maybe maternity pants might be good to have soon – buttoning things over my bloated stomach was just uncomfortable. But, I could definitely fit in to my clothes if push came to shove which it did for me. I shoved myself into non-maternity pants until I noticed my right thigh get kind of numb one day. So I took myself and my numb thigh to A Pea in the Pod. (This post is not going to be complementary of Pea in the Pod.)

Begin rant: When I set foot in the boutique I was immediately accosted by a team of sales people and PITP sales people are incredibly pushy. The first girl asked me how far a long I was and when I told her she responded with “You look amazing. You don’t even look pregnant.”  Ummm, thanks? I went about looking being bugged by someone every two seconds for the duration of the shopping trip. When I finally got to the point of being ready to try on clothes, the lovely PITP sales staff LOADED my dressing room with a million “fresh new looks!” that I DIDN’T ASK TO TRY ON. My two sweaters, jeans, other pants and t-shirts were buried at the bottom of the pile of pregnant jumpsuits, expensive t-shirts and maternity lingerie (I WISH I WAS KIDDING). At the end of the day I still needed clothes, so I ended up purchasing jeans, a couple of sweaters and a work-appropriate top. One of the tops was damaged slightly on the side – because designers insist on putting an empire waist tie on everything maternity, one of the little loops on the side was busted on this top. I wanted to go ahead and get it, but I did ask them for a discount because of the damage and the store manager (who, along with her staff, never left me alone the whole time and buried me in the dressing room, but couldn’t help me with my one actual request – thanks asshole) told me the damage “wasn’t significant enough to warrant a discount. Sorry.” ??? Jerks! And it’s not like there are a ton of maternity stores around : (. So the reality is I will have to go back to PITP at some point, with the tail you grow in pregnancy hanging between my pregnant legs. End Rant.

I did find a few good Winter (San Diego’s version of Winter) tops at Target. These sweaters were extremely reasonably priced AND the staff completely ignored the hell out of me the entire time which was great!! I managed to score the rest of my new, more-forgiving swag online. I ordered PITP items from Amazon (leggings) which was nice because I didn’t have to actually set foot in the store again. Amazon is an amazing retailer that makes my life complete-  we registered there also. I ordered a few more things from Motherhood Maternity and tried to order from H&M’s MAMA line but guess what ya’ll? They never have anything you want in stock ever, for example this  adorbs green tunic dress that would be perfect for work. Never gonna happen : (! 



Thanks for nothing!

I also got rescued by my friend and fellow medical spouse Miriam, who has a 10 month old baby named Tyler (who is responsible for getting us pregnant. Is that weird?) I have mentioned Miriam and her blog (that is better than this one) before on here. She mentioned casually over lunch that she had maternity clothes to lend me and I thought ok, cool, she probably means like a few things. She called me to her house a week later with a very complete maternity wardrobe – complete with a pants suit. No joke. All of it on loan for the next nine plus months. If you aren’t in to the whole maternity-style thing (like me) I really recommend borrowing from a friend if possible. You are definitely going to buy some things, but when you aren’t a super huge fan of side-ruching and wrap tops, it feels better to at least not have spent a fortune. Thank you, Miriam. You are a pregnancy angel..I also have to thank my friend Gina, who is the wife of a doc I work with. She bequeathed two pairs of designer-preg jeans to me. Now, if I can figure out a way to sleep, I’ll be set. Too bad your friends can’t loan you shut-eye.

Give a pregnant woman an inch…

We had our nuchal translucency scan this past week and everything looked “better than great” (doctor’s words, not mine). The nuchal scan at UCSD isn’t done in the regular OB’s office – they haul you on over to the fancy, fetal genetics office and spoil you with up close ultrasound of your baby. As pregnant women go, I imagine that I am more addicted to ultrasound than most? Probably not, but anyway… it’s a twenty to thirty minute scan where the technician examines every appendage, crevice and fold of the baby. And  there is a flat screen monitor mounted on the wall so you can lie back as if you were on a Netflix binge instead of craning your neck sideways for three to five minutes in the regular appointments. I loved it. I loved it so much that I wanted more. Ultrasound is a drug, particularly for a very nervous, first time mom. So, the Saturday following our appointment, I called The Ultrasound Experience  in San Diego.

I had multiple motives for doing this. Before I ever got pregnant, a girlfriend of mine told me that there were a few boutique ultrasound outfits in the area that could tell you the gender at 14 weeks – which beats waiting until week 18 when you live in my head and you are a crazy, nosy, paranoid, first-time preg. The boutique outfits offer 4D images, which leaves me wondering what is the fourth dimension? Time? Pretty sure it’s time, at any rate, you get a picture of the baby that is different from the norm. The second motive was that during the nuchal scan, our sonographer said she was 98% sure the baby was a particular gender. After finding this out, I needed to know more. So I made the call and the next day went in for a gender scan. You have to sign all kinds of crazy consents that you understand the appointment is not medical, it’s purely for entertainment, that you won’t sue, that you won’t hold them to anything they say and that you won’t use them in place of your prenatal care provider, yada, yada. After all of the signing up, Logan and I were escorted in to a giant room with a fancy sectional couch, a bed for the mom and a cadillac level ultrasound machine… and it was just a really cool experience. We got a nice little DVD to bring home and tons of great pictures, when great means the baby looks like a small demon.

Adorable little demon boy... or girl?

Adorable little demon boy… or girl?

I can’t write about the gender just yet. A girlfriend of mine is throwing us a gender reveal party, which will include a cake that is died pink or blue depending on what our baby’s gender is. When we cut said cake, the gender will be revealed to the world… also  just the people at the restaurant.

Trimester two! We made it, baby. Now please don’t offer me olives.

Words can’t accurately explain my excitement. My puking reflexes subsided end of last week and I am still extremely tired but firmly in my second trimester. In 5 days I have a nuchal translucency scan to check for chromosomal conditions. Everything definitely feels more real. Aside from the fear the baby might be missing a foot or have a third nipple I’m getting used to being pregnant. I think I’m maybe event getting good at being pregnant and before you knock me for cockiness, hear me out. I drink more water than ever before (very helpful), I bring a lot of snacks to work and I get teary eyed during car commercials and The Walking Dead. I have a list of things that I used to love but can no longer eat. Kalmata olives, salmon sashimi (not because I don’t want it, because I don’t want listeria), egg whites (in fairness I never loved these but they are definitely a no go) and salt and vinegar potato chips (blech).

I have continued bootcamp to the chagrin of many. I hear a lot of pregnancy advice on everything, and exercise is no exception. Every website in the world says exercise in most cases is healthier for mom and baby. (Who else would check every website in the world for you? Only me.) I’ve noticed some websites, have a lot of advice about exactly what you can exercise, particulary when it comes to working out your abs. From around the web, I’ve seen parenting and pregnancy sites advocate against crunches, against planking, against working your lower abdominals… the list goes on ad infinitum. Much of the concern is that some positions will cut off blood flow down there or be harmful to the baby in some other way.  As someone who really doesn’t want to hurt my baby, but also wants to stay healthy and sane, I asked my OB, who is wonderful and entertains all of my questions, even when they begin with the phrase, “I read on the internet…”. Her take was this: “Doing crunches, exercise laying on the floor, planking is all fine. Don’t do any of it for a super prolonged amount of time and everything will be A-OK. Also, I don’t do inversions. Also, don’t be surprised when you get to the point that you can’t do some of this stuff.” This advice really helped me and let me got back to bootcamp with less fear in my heart that I’ll cut off blood flow to the baby somehow. Also, push-ups are really hard, even though the extra weight isn’t that much yet. It’s like holy lord, that’s only five pounds? There is still quite a bit of stuff that I modify because it just doesn’t quite feel right (flipping a tire in pregnancy feels scary to me, so they gave me a sledge hammer to hit the tire with instead.) Good times. The they I am referring to is my bootcamp, So Cal Fit Body, which is the most amazing, wonderful bootcamp ever and I love it. There are Fit Body locations all over the U.S. and in Canada (and now that I’m checking the website, Europe as well).

This is my bootcamp in San Diego. Tire flipping happens here.

This is my bootcamp in San Diego. Tire flipping happens here.

All of this being said, this is my experience, not me advocating for what everyone else can and should do – this is just what I did. This disclaimer goes for the whole blog. Everything here (avoiding salt and vinegar chips, crunches during pregnancy, buying your friends a plastic jesus for their child’s baptism) and everything else I ever write or have written, I never ever want to advocate that there are things you HAVE to do in pregnancy. I hate that. Your experience might be completely different than mine, and that is totally good. End rant.

Some of our very close friends are having their son baptized this weekend and we were lucky enough to score an invite. This little boy is so cute, he is pretty much the reason we decided to get pregnant – the temptation to steal him became to great, so we had to get our own. Miriam also writes an amazing and funny blog, much better than this one, called The Graf Papers. I suggest you read it here. But be warned, their son is horrible for birth control. Your uterus might scream for a bit afterward. (That might be a bit much, but I’m leaving it.) If anyone knows where I can order a plastic Jesus for them, please message me.